2002 Darwin Awards

[Xellos]

Yes, the one we've all been waiting for - the 2002
> Darwin Awards. The
> candidates have finally been released! For those not
> familiar with the
> Darwin Award, it's an annual honor given to the
> person who provided the
> Universal human gene pool the biggest service by
> getting KILLED in the
> most extraordinarily stupid way. As always,
> competition this year has been
> keen again. Some candidates appear to have trained
> their whole lives for
> this event!
>
> THE CANDIDATES:
>
> 1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got
> stuck and drowned in two
> feet of water after squeezing head first through an
> 18-inch-wide sewer
> grate to retrieve his car keys.
>
>
> 2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco
> stockbroker, who "totally zoned
> when he ran," accidentally jogged off a
> 100-foot-high cliff on his daily
> run.
>
>
> 3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8 foot
> deep hole he dug into
> the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers
> said Daniel Jones, 21,dug
> the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and
> had been sitting in a
> beach chair at the bottom on Thursday afternoon when
> it collapsed, burying
> him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on
> the outer banks, used
> their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
> Jones, a resident of
> Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took
> rescue workers using heavy
> equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200
> people looked on. Jones
> was pronounced dead at the hospital.
>
> 4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in
> Lompoc, CA, as he fell
> face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he
> was burgling. Death was
> caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his
> mouth (to keep his
> hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he
> hit the floor.
>
> 5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet,
> Nick Berrena, 20, was
> stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet, Jeffrey
> Hoffman, 23, who was
> trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the
> flak vest Berrena was
> wearing.
>
>
> 6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in
> February in Selbyville,Del,as
> he won a bet with friends who said he would not put
> a revolver loaded with
> four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
>
> 7. In February, according to police in Windsor,
> Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27,
> and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision,
> thus earning a tie in
> the game of chicken they were playing with their
> snowmobiles.
>
>
> HONORABLE MENTIONS
>
> 1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to
> kill a millipede with
> a shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet
> ricocheted off a rock near
> the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head,
> fracturing his skull.
>
>
> 2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins,
> attempting to clean out
> cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in
> favor of a propane torch
> and caused a fire that burned the first and second
> floors of his house.
>
>
> 3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
> Township, NJ, and his
> wife, Bonnie, was also injured, when a quarter-stick
> of dynamite blew up in
> their car. While driving around at 2 a.m., the bored
> couple lit the dynamite
> and tried to toss it out the window to see what
> would happen, but
> apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
>
>
> THE RUNNER UP - FROM TACOMA, WA: Jerome Nottage had
> been drinking with
> several friends when one of them said they knew a
> person who had
> bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in
> the middle of traffic. The
> conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
> trooped along the
> walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at
> the midpoint of the
> bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a
> bungee rope. Nottage, who
> had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out
> that a coil of
> lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was
> secured around
> Nottage's leg and the other end was tied to the
> bridge. His fall lasted 40
> feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot
> off at the ankle. He
> miraculously survived his fall into the icy river
> water and was rescued by
> two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Nottage,
> "is that God was
> watching out for me on that night. There's just no
> other explanation for
> it." Nottage's foot was never located.
>
>
> AND FINALLY, THE WINNER - FROM PADERBORN, GERMANY:
>
> Overzealous zoo keeper, Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
> constipated elephant,
> Stefan, 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
> bushel of berries, figs
> and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
> let it fly, and
> suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
> Investigators say ill-fated
> Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing
> elephant an olive oil enema
> when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer
> force of the elephant's
> unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the
> ground, where he struck
> his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the
> elephant continued to
> evacuate his bowels on top of him," said
> flabbergasted Paderborn police
> detective, Erik Dern."With no one there to help him,
> he lay under all that
> dung for at least an hour before a watchman came
> along, and during that time
> he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those
> freak accidents that could
> happen to anyone.


Got it from an E-mail.

LMAO!

[Daigotsu]

That's pathetic, there is absolutely no limit to human stupidity.

[Dragonrider]

FUCKIN LMAO!!

[Cavalier]

so it IS possible to drown in 2 feet of water...

lmao those are some...sad stories, more sad than funny i guess, how sad their deaths ended up to be

[Nevan]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana,Tahoma">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#E0E0E0"><font size=2 face="Verdana,Tahoma">Originally posted by Daigotsu:
That's pathetic, there is absolutely no limit to human stupidity.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

I agree.

Cav, you could drown in one inch of water from being passed out.

[melfice]

Mother of all goddesses! that is freaking stupid! ROFLMAO

[justwildbeat]

yeah i remember seeing last yr's list and i think they're just too sad, they're amusing but still . . . one of my favs though was a group of theives that hijacked a plane but lost control of it when they all pulled down their pants to moon the neigboring plane (hehe) [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]

[Xellos]

LOL!

[Cavalier]

1 inch eh? how bout 1/2 inch? O_O

[Xellos]

sure,s tick it in back of throat, hold nose shut, don't swallow and u ded ;p